Part II

Every human being goes through phases of likes and dislikes. At one point in life, you may like broccoli, while later you may find that you're in love with Lincoln Logs. Something that's always held a very, very special place in my heart is film.
I'm not a film snob. I haven't seen over a billion movies that you've never heard of. But I have seen a lot of movies in my time, and loved them, and hated them. So, they tend to be something I'm very passionate about. When I critique a film, I try to take into consideration its good and its bad. Having said all that, let's move on:
I'm a ginormous fan of the Alien series, or at least, I used to be. I was introduced to it late in my life, but that's fine because a movie series like that opens up your eyes and makes you look at the world from a whole new perspective. I'd like to say that the movie series opened up my eyes to how the world is a beautiful, wonderful place full of great ideas and originality, and that WAS my view up to Aliens (the lazily-named part 2 in the series). Watching this series up to that point was a magnificent roller coaster of excitement and grandeur that was nice enough to give me free ice cream and high-fives every now and then. But when Alien 3 came around the ice cream had started going bad, as if taken from a very pissed off cow and processed by an ice cream factory staffed entirely by Republicans, and the high-fives were great until my hands started turning red and blistering and by that point I was begging to get off. High-fives are meant to signify momentous occasions and a high-five every three seconds just becomes a nuisance, which is exactly what Alien 3 was.
There were great movies like Aliens or The Matrix that left me waiting with baited breath to watch the sequel. Being the ignorant fool I was, I thought to myself, "It is physically impossible that a movie this amazing could ever have a bad sequ-" before I could finish that sentence I was five minutes into the next movie and I had the overpowering urge to go shove my head in a bucket of ice cubes and needles.
I don't hate ALL sequels, because there are plenty of good ones that I like, but Alien 3 was a perfect example of Hollywood’s greatest flaw when it comes to these: trying to turn a movie into something it’s just not meant to be. Why do SO many people think that in order for a movie to be as good as Braveheart or Gladiator they HAVE to kill off the main character in the end? (SPOILER,by the way) Sure it works sometimes and can add to the drama, but a lot of times that’s just not the turn the movie is supposed to take, especially when you’ve killed everything likeable about the character in that very same movie. It’s like an American actor trying to speak with a British accent. *cough* ROBERT DOWNEY JR. *cough*
This also applies to the Indiana Jones series, because as fantastic as those movies were in my childhood, part 4 was just not very good, since it crossed off nearly EVERYTHING on the “how to be as unoriginal as possible” Hollywood movie checklist. I heard they’re making an Indiana Jones 5, and the very idea just gives me the urge to go to Hollywood and throw a camera at someone, kick Uwe Boll in the face, then forget what I was doing there in the first place and hang out with Johnny Depp at the nearest coffee shop. It is typical by this point of popular franchise-Gods like George Lucas to give us further proof they forgot what it’s like to have an original idea, which I guess would make sense seeing as they don’t need originality to rule their vast armies of acne-ridden, anime-loving losers who probably outnumber our actual government officials at least 8 to 1, but as I’ve already stated I’m tired of seeing something good try to be something it’s not, ruined just for the sake of more money. It’s like a British actor trying to speak with an American accent. *cough*EverysingleactorintheUSmovieindustry*cough*

This rant is pretty useless when it gets down to it not only because I’m pretty much beating a dead horse with another dead horse but because this trend in movies will never end. People have ideas that they just shouldn’t have, and the call of a couple trillion dollars more is too enticing to pass up for them despite that a sequel will most likely just kill off everything like-able about the original. But they know people with watch their crap and they decide it’s worth the sacrifice and viola: we have a Ghostbusters 3. It’s thanks to geniuses like Quentin Tarantino and Peter Jackson that movies are still even worth watching. Without them we’d have no choice but to deal with garbage like Titanic 5 and The Godfather 6. Even worse, we'd probably have to deal with George Lucas shoving tons of useless Star Wars garbage down our throa-
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