The Monster Slayer

Last night, I had a dream. I had what might just have been the awesomest dream I’ve ever had. In fact, I think I could go as far as to say it’s the awesomest dream anyone’s ever had. I shall explain this dream in vivid detail. Or not-so-vivid. It’s 11 in the morning and I’m kinda groggy.

I was at my high school. I was being a good little student, sitting next to my gay friend Sarah and listening to the teacher. Then I turned to her and said something that would change my life forever:

“I’m bustin’ outta here.” I dashed out of the classroom as she followed close behind, trying to change my mind. We went down a hallway unfamiliar to me, and we were lost. Panicked, I opened the nearest door, praying that it was a way out. The room was pitch black, and there was no light switch to be found as I crept my hand along the wall. I heard a growling. Horrible, awesome growling. We turned and fled without so much as closing the door behind us.

Somehow, we found our way back to the hallways of the school we actually knew. We didn’t bother going to class (‘cause this is supposed to be an awesome dream and you don’t go to school in awesome dreams) but decided instead to roam the strangely unmonitored hallways, waiting for the bell to ring. Then there was screaming. A lot of screaming.

The hallways were flooding with terrified students in less than half-a-minute. My ears occasionally picked up the word “monster” being thrown around here and there. I looked behind at Sarah, who, judging by the look on her face, was thinking the same exact thing I was. We turned and sped down the English hallway, thinking the source of the commotion was coming from there. Much to my dismay, it was. Standing there, staring at me, was one of the monsters from my beloved Aliens series of movies (probably only known to you because of Aliens vs Predator).

We hastily jumped through the nearest door and slammed it behind us. In the room were three other students I did not know. The monster started fiddling with the doorknob and trying to push its way through. We all came close together and pushed against it, hugging each other and praying it would get bored. Then it came to my attention that I was in my Creative Writing room. It also came to thought that my Creative Writing teacher is a mad woman. She is a mad woman who keeps a sword in her closet. I turned to one of the younger students.

“Go get the sword.” I said to him. He nodded and rushed off. The alien was pushing through the door, its strength far superior to ours. I slid across the floor as it started poking its head through the doorway. The other guy who’s not as important as me rushed to my side and handed me my sword. The alien’s head was fully through the doorway now, and was looking at me. I slashed the sword upwards, missing because of the awkward angle. The alien clawed against my cheek, leaving a mark. I slashed again, accidentally cutting my eyebrow. The alien snapped its jaws at me, missing by only a mere inch. It had half of its body through the doorway, and reared back its head, opened its jaws, and let out a bloodcurdling screech as it prepared to go for the kill. Its head launched downward to snap at my face, but my reflexes were too fast. I jabbed the sword upward, through its head, and backed away, trying to avoid its acid blood. I pulled the sword out.

I ran out into the hallway, beholding a sickening sight: the aliens were everywhere, feasting on my fellow classmates. But I did see a couple guys that really annoyed me. That improved my mood drastically.

I bolted down the hallway, swinging my sword and destroying the beasts as I went. I was unstoppable. Every alien who crossed my path was one that would never have the chance to do so again. I lifted my head and screamed, “I. AM. THE MONSTER SLAYER!!!” In front of me, was the alien queen. I raised my sword and made a dash at her, and-

Then I woke up.